Too Sexe For TheLadies?
by KaeoticNeutrael
Summary: Gojyo's on a woman hunt, in hopes of procuring the perfect lay. Ravishing females town-to-town, it isn't until a certain -recurring- youkai mistress makes herself known that he begins to crave monogamy. There's just one catch..."dude looks like a lady!"


**Kae-chan**: Sooo, this is really a short chapter, it's sort of just an intro type thing...and also a product of my impatience -sweatdrops- So I hope you mildly enjoy this, or what there is of it so far. Suggestions and acomments are welcomed, as always.

**I don't own anything but the porn on my computer...and not even that...see, to sue me would be pointless for I am not even rich enough to _buy_ my porn...I have to steal off the internet -nods- along with 90 of my anime...**

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Rain hammered against the windowpanes, causing the very tavern to vibrate under natures' onslaught as hazy light filtered through the blanket of clouds. Nestled atop a mountainous hill in the heart of a dark forest a little town shivered, feeling as if it were going to be thrown by the violent winds. Miles away four figures wound a treacherous path through the trees, seeking shelter from the bullet like raindrops in the thick foliage and a chance to escape the cutting zephyr. 

Growling menacingly golden bangs were shoved out of lavender eyes for the millionth time that day, vein pulsating as he noticed the gawking half-breed walking in step with himself, whose incessant staring was about to earn him a permanent vacation.

"FUCK" Fisting his robes in an effort to keep murderous intent at bay droopy eyes swiveled marginally to glare at the taller form beside him. "What in the _hell_ are you staring at, baka" Heat flooded the elegant words of Genjo Sanzo, the monk in question trying to avoid biting his tongue as they traveled over the uneven terrain.

Gojyo strode ahead of the Buddhist, stopping precisely in the others way while turning to face the slight form, "Weellll, Sanzo-sama" murmuring his title hotly the demi-youkai leaned down a bit, one corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk "that bombshell body of yours has got me thinking twice about entertaining a mans request..." Trailing off sexily he allowed his eyes to travel lecherously along the curves of Sanzo's body, plainly visible through the soaked white robes.

"Omae o korosu" A resounding twang rang through the air, Sanzo stepping over a bloody nosed Gojyo and tilting his head down to hide the rising blush that spread from his pallid cheeks, down the creamy column of his throat to other various parts of his body. He couldn't explain why Gojyo's undivided attention made him uncomfortable, perhaps it was all the sexuality that was narrowed at him. Regardless...that stupid bastard, he sheathed his Smith and Wesson, all the while contemplating the consequences that may or may not arise from just murdering the pervert. Really, the audacity of that insect, to make him feel like this...Genjo Sanzo did _not_ blush, period.

"Sanzooooooooooo," A familiar whine sounded, coming closer as its routine chant began, "ara hetta, ara hetta, ara hetta, ara hetta!" Bounding through the trees Son Goku appeared, nyoi-bo dangling wildly at his side and gravity defying spikes dripping with the rain. Pausing only momentarily to cock his head at a muddy, bleeding Gojyo (who was being mildly supported/reprimanded by Hakkai "...I'm surprised Sanzo hasn't killed us all, yet, though _you_ most of all...") the saru tramped up to his master, thoroughly splattering mud upon the pristine robes.

Covering his face with a hand Sanzo attempted to pull his features off, a poor replacement for sucking maniacally at a cancer stick. "Kuso, saru, you'll eat when we get to the next inn."

"I can't walk another step, Sanzoooooo, I'm gonna _DIE_" Moaning his woes the saru continued to walk alongside his care taker, an occasional harisen thwack silencing the forest before the rant was taken up once more.

Rain beat down harder as daylight faded, each member of the Sanzo-Ikkou struggling in an uphill battle with the sliding mud and miniature river that cascaded down the slope. Flinging sludge everywhere a certain saru was currently being beaten by an all too worldly monk, whose harisen was growing floppy with the rainfall. Grimacing at the state of his shoes, Hakkai turned, grasping Gojyo's arm tightly as the kappa tripped clumsily over a protruding rock. They were nearly to the damned village, having wound their way through at leasttwelve miles of wilderness, why did these people live on a hill in the middle of some vast forest? Gojyo's only conclusion: hippies, all of them.

"Damn, Hakkai, you're just saving me left and right today." Grinning widely the renowned pervert slung a muscled arm about the others shoulders, receiving a predatory glare and 'kyuu' from a ruffled Hakuryu. Sticking his tongue out at the dragon he was rewarded with a sharp jolt, product of his right leg having found a rut, and neatly sliced into his tongue. Cursing wildly enough to make Hakkai blush the demi-youkai spat minimal amounts of blood to the side, tripping once more as the pair broke over the cusp of the hill.

Rising up on his elbows a severely muddied and tattered robe hem slapped Gojyo across the face as Sanzo breezed past, nearly running ahead of everyone else. Looking up in agitation the impulsive half-breed opened his mouth for some snide remark only to be met with the gritty texture of fertilizer laced soil. Laughing hysterically the saru keeled over, rolling through the muck, leaving a red-faced Hakkai to deal with the consequences of his own rash action. Shouts sounded through the curtain of rain, slick bodies thudding wetly against the ground in a free for all battle. Turning on a sandaled heel, the Smith and Wesson was drawn, all three figures stopping their movements at the shock of bullets whizzing by their forms.

"ALL OF YOU!" Pointing an accusing gun barrel, particularly at Hakkai, the one known as Sanzo took menacing steps forward," MOVE FASTER! OR DEATH!" Kicking at the bodies that rushed past him a self-satisfied and barely perceptible smirk crossed the monks face. "FASTER!"

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**Kae-chan**: Tell me if I should bother to continue... 


End file.
